You said friends huh?? Could you explain what friends means?? Does it means that they appear like a very close friend to you but behind you they said nasty things about you?? Friends huh?? indeed they are your friends right?? What crap is that?? Even my laptop treats me better than friends...
And...friends could throw you away when you are not needed or do they spread about your secrets and stuffs?? Maybe they did something behind your back and lied to you for things that meant alot to you??
I knew ever since all these things appeared...friends are just nothing...why don't i just do everything on my own?? Afterall...friends backstabs and lied to you...Hence...to me,friends are just people who make use of you when you could help but dump you when they are of help...i know WHO you are...and i remembered it very clearly...this sentence:" Actually i don't really like her...i just don't know why."
Imagine this came out from your friend's mouth when she always said infront of you that she feels that you are her good friend,you won't spread things and always support her.
If you were me, what would you think and feel?

I hate people who tag at my tagboard when the names are not given...and....whoever or whatever you are...if you want to tag at my tagboard,kindly enter your name so that at least i got who you are...or if you think your name must be kept in for private, never are you needed here to tag.THANK YOU!

You all won't know what growing up is like for me...to the rest of u all...growing up is just like eating,sleeping,playing,studying...but to me it was like hell...i just dunnoe what i did in my previous life that i have to lead this kind of life here...
growing up without a father hence my mother has to work like hell and to help her to ease her burden i tried and tried to help...but with that stupid idiotic dumb sister that has no brains to think,my life became even hell-like...just because of my fucking father which i hate the most in the world,any problems my mother faced,she would put her anger on me as my sister is hardly at home...and as a growing child,i was bullied but i didn't even dared to speak a word about anything to anyone...hence the quiet me u all see...plus the problems faced in school...i tried to cheer up but it wasn't that easy said than done...
now u all know why i don't post...because i find it a nuisance to type it out..i rather keep it within me okay...although i seem happy everyday but at night you will see a different me...but don't bother to try to know me now..because pride is my priority so i will hide myself from anyone from trying to get close to me...don't bother to know me now...it's too late ...i wondered why i can't meet such a person when i was younger and needed help...i just hated this world and myself and everyone...even you who is reading now...don't ask me why i hate you because this is what the environment had force me into...

Ya..i know all of you are replying on the previous few post but anyway you all won't understand...and ah...dun interupt or ask here ask there regarding me and czm le...it's our matter...so ignore la...erm erm...i'm now fine just to let u all know...
Well you all just don't get the picture...i don't understand what is between us...so how would u all know...so don't go and blame him or stuffs like that anymore okay??
you all dunnoe one la...since young i have no one to care for me...so i am like trash...no father,no confidant...and between me and my family members we aren't that close...well i am all alone okay...hence the geraldine u all see now..all these were what that made me what i am today...i have no one to blame for but just myself...so no matter whatever happens now i have to bear with it untill i grow up...i swear when i grow up i won't be like what i am now cus i simply hate whoever i am now and my father and sister and everyone...my thinking just tells me that it is the evironment that caused me to be like that okay..so don't question anyone now and don't come up with any doubts...that's all...just ignore...okay...byebye.

Thoughts and memories flashed past me...i remembered of the time when we first knew each other...we later on got along and we always sided with you eventhough others blamed us for being biased...i don't know what has got into me...i just can't help it...
Yesterday,the last night we have at the chalet,i woke up very early...i was thinking continuously...i did not have the courage to talk to you anymore...i knew you would just reply me in a word or two...surely not more than a sentence...then i realised i wasn't as important as the others to you.I wanted to apologise to you...."i'm sorry that i can't bring you laughter.go to her...she's the one that can make you smile and laugh like nothing ever is worried"

Trust is the next thing...i felt like i was just a bullshit compared to all of you..hanging out with you guys was too much a stress to me...i wanted to leave but i can't...i knew i wasn't needed around but that was the only way to make me feel better...
The only thing i could do now is to wish the person that i liked and loved once to be happy always...let me be the one to shoulder the pain and the laughter and fun for you to take on...

During the first night of the chalet,i did not sleep a wink...i wanted to get those memories in my mind...and i managed to do so...that night was a hard day for me...all of you did slept for a moment...but i struggled not to...easily..the night passed...

That night you seemed so tired...with red bloodshot eyes...i wanted to have a chat with you to keep you awake and feeling less bored...i said something to you and when you replied me...i look into your eyes and i realised that i don't seem like i was a friend...instead,just a very very ordinary friend...one that you would just say hi to when we meet in the streets or maybe those that you would try to avoid from..

That night was my worst day...i remembered when most of you were sleeping...i watched the television quietly and did not spoke a word...that time i was struggling with my thoughts...i knew i had lost you...as a friend....i became not a friend anymore...

Today was the day after the class chalet...though last night i went home feeling very exhausted and tired but i can't fall asleep...many moments of us together came to my mind...this feeling had never appeared before...i knew i didn't liked this class as much as i do in the past...but i knew i never hated it too...yes maybe some classmates but definitely not all...

Was online the whole day...not all was online...but when i took a glance through the personel message...the scenes came back to me...i wished that we do not have to separate...through hard times and laughter we went together...the scenes now can't be removed...

But life is a cycle...it has to go on...i just have to hang on and move on no matter what it is...if there was a miracle....this wouldn't get to this stage...

Sorry to all for not posting for the past few days.It is because that i am very busy...busy with our class chalet and looking for job and going out for job interviews.SORRY SORRY SORRY!

Adding on to that,i won't post for the nest few days too...got too much things to handle...one of my family member passed away...so will be busy....so sad....i wan to cry...my da yi po die...haiz...

But i am also very happy as the chalet day is tomorrow and i am staying overnight...grrr....anyways...i have to go now...AND...
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JAY CHOU'S MOVIE: SECRET,KUNGFU DUNK AND INITIAL D ROCKS!~

Woots!~ Love my blog yeah...happy happy...now need relink and link alot people le....if you guys sees this please tag ur link for me again..lol...

today nothing much happened except it was a busy day in the morning...surfing the net for jobs and calling but it wasn't a great reply that i got back....but nvm...i got time...can wait...but hope can get it soon...i wan save money!!!

And and...all i did today was msn-ing and chatting and listening to jay's songs...how great that was...so happy to have this freedom!!!Woo!~ But after 6,it will be a sad day...cus my mum coming back...diaos...Anyways,2h people must remember go the class chalet hor....dun forget!!!~

And ...soory to my friends for having the jay chou talk these days...all about jay chou bore you out huh? HEHE...hope u all dun mind...cus he rocks and i can't stop chatting about him...

Lastly,those who likes him can go to WWW.JAY2U.COM go see see!~

Now i have to go to wash that pile of smelly dirty school shoes..lol..haha...byebye...need go wash it before my mum comes back..lol...TATA..

Hey all...my blog is back alive though this is the only post.And firstly i want to thank Jia Lyn for helping me with the blog renewing thing.

Now,it's a brand new blog...hope it won't die again...guess not...after changing the blogskin to my idol haha....anyway...the song in my blog was one of my favourite from Jay Chou.Hope you guys will enjoy it.But sorry to the malays because it's a chinese song...well i just dun fancy english songs.haha...not trying to be biased over anything...that's just who i am.

Ohya...just to make my blog more lively...it's gonna be medialised...means next time i try to post pictures...if not so bored right??haha...i shall end it here for now...